Close.

I was crawling towards you.
I came closer and you saw me.
You didn't say anything and I crawled away again.
I am not sure if you understood why I was there,
Why I was close.
I just hope that, if you understood, you won't say anything.
All I know is that I won't come that close again.

I'll eat you up

You feed my appetite in ways I can't explain.

Stigma?.

Is it only the beauty of the world outside?
Or are you really stigmatized somewhere in my soul, stuck somewhere deep within me?
In Dutch we would say: 'this is burned on my retina'.


I only know that this feels so special.
And that I can't let go of you.
Somehow.

Pain. & Doubt.

I never knew that I was the only one.
Because I never heard anyone else say how much it hurts.
How much words can cut through your heart.
But I can say they do.
Pain in your heart is one of the most horrible things.

Just like then, when I told you I felt this pain in my heart.
Like there was really a problem with my heart.

Although I am not sure if I told you.
Maybe I should.

Because I always thought that I am me and everything about me, makes me, me.
Also I heard people say you should accept yourself, no matter what.
The best relationship is the one with yourself.

But there is one thing I can't understand.
Why are you doubting me?
Why are you doubting the things that live inside of me?
Am I that different from you?
So different that you can't imagine/accept that people can have different things inside of them?
Doubting anything about me,
Saying anything about me couldn't be real,
That means you are not accepting me for who I am.
And if that's really what it is,
Then I am afraid I can't be around you anymore.
Because I can't stand people who don't accept me for who I am.

Depressed morning

Crying my heart out.
My heart feels so empty.
And what's up with this loneliness that has been there in my heart for already such a long time.
There are those days I wake up depressed every morning.
Those mornings I realise, I would rather sleep and dream then wake up and live.
It feels so cold.
And I feel ripped apart.
I don't understand.
I got so much loving and caring people around me.
I hope for an answer one day.