I don't like you

I don't like you for taking my world.

I don't like you for excluding me.

I don't like you for making other people freak out and for pissing me off.

I don't like you for lying and not being trustworthy.

I don't like you for making me feel alone.

I don't like you for taking over my world.

I don't like you for making me sad.

Desperate

Seek and you will find, they say
but I've been looking everyday
for a way past this wall that's in front of my face.
I'm on hands and knees searching for my faith.

I know there's so much at stake
but I don't know if I can take one more pat on the back saying I'll be okay.
Can't you see me whole life is in disarray?

You've got me desperate.

I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign?
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands.

You've got me desperate (do You see me?)
Desperate (do You hear me?)
Desperate (will You help me?)
You've got me desperate.

I know You're my only hope
The only One who truly knows how it feels, what it's like when it all starts to fall
You're the One I can trust who hears when I call.

You've got me desperate.

I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign?
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands.

You've got me desperate (do You see me?)
Desperate (do You hear me?)
Desperate (will You help me?)
You've got me desperate.

Some things I'll never figure out
Until I let hope erase my doubt.

You've got me desperate.

I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign?
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand,
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands.

You've got me desperate (do You see me?)
Desperate (do You hear me?)
Desperate (will You help me?)
You've got me desperate.

You've got me desperate. (Oh do You see me?)
Desperate (do You hear me?)
Desperate (will You help me?)
You've got me desperate!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQctVDvIFWg

Wrong.

So I tried again, maybe already a zillion times...
To explain you what's going wrong, what's going on...
Which part of you doesn't understand this?
Like I said, do what you say and say what you do...
Think twice before you do something...
I don't expect you to be perfect, but something is wrong and it is really getting out of control.
So please do something, because I start to care less and less about you and my trust in you has faded.

Solution.

And that's the way it is....
I have never missed someone that much...
But I know I will never be able to really love someone else without this problem unsolved...
I am hoping, praying for an answer...
And I am scared, scared to you will get angry...
Scared that things won't be worth it.
I am not sure about what I need to do to solve this..
But I think the answers will come soon enough.
Untill then I will watch the moon when it's full, and remember you.

Harsh, careless and childish

So this is how we are going to do this?
What the... ?
Apparently you don't know the feeling of useless..
Feels it really that good to see people freak out?
Do you want me to make you freak out?
Make some sense here please...
Because this is not something you can just do.
The weird thing about it was, I already knew this before you opened your mouth.
But well I am always trying to trust people and trying to see people as positive as possible...
Maybe I should quit doing that.
Anyway, you have absolutely no idea how other people feel,
What your actions cause...
And you really don't know how pissed I am right now because of this

Angry, happy and damaged

'It's an angry summer.'

That was my worst summer, I got sick and felt depressed...
The memories are still there and the music which makes me feel like dying in the inside.
And then I let you in again and you destroyed my world even further...

A few years later you came and took my heart and showed what real love can be.
Then I left the country and everything changed and I didn't recognize you anymore.
I became scared of you too...
Still you gave me the most joyful memories and I wish I could get them back.
I wish the time before everything went wrong came back...
I really don't know if I still love you, I really don't know what to do.
Are we meant to be, or is there still something else I got to do?
It's like,
No matter who I talk to
No matter who I hug
No matter who I love or fall in love with
I always end up thinking about you and missing our world...

'It was an angry summer'

The summer calmed down and became happier than ever,
Even though I knew back then we would be seperated for almost 9 months...
Then next summer got a little irritated.
Things were different and too much had happened...
Though I was really happy to be with you again, because I had really missed you that 9 months...
Still, everything was damaged...
I tried to fix it, I tried to change myself and I tried to change you...
But people are who they are, you have to accept them the way they are...
And if you don't, you will end up feeling like you have to do the impossible...
Later, everything started to break and crumble down...
Still, I tried my hardest to fix everything...
Then we decided on leaving each other alone for a while...
And I started to miss you again, my feelings were getting stronger and stronger....
Back then I didn't know your love was missing in your heart...
And you couldn't see it and put it into words...
Then you weren't clear and I misunderstood...
In the end I couldn't stand being without you, because I loved you and I felt like I needed you...
You were my buddy..
When I told you that I couldn't stand it any longer, you just got so pissed...
You told me you had already made a promise to yourself that if I would contact you, you would leave...
I still don't understand why you never told me that, before everything collapsed...
Then everything exploded and I lost you..
And I could not defend you any longer, I could not deny who you were any longer...
Maybe you were pissed back then, but I was just telling the truth, I was just telling how I thought things were..
Still, I never ever did anything to harm you on purpose...
Maybe one day, you will read this and we can talk, without fighting or argueing...
Just calm...
I just wished I'd had the guts to call you or message you...

Sorry.

I swore to protect you and heal your wounds.
I promised to never hurt you and be honest with you always.
I broke all my promises and hurted you more than ever.
I am waiting for the day I can apologise to you.
Tell you how much I am sorry for what I did.

Something I can never have.

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart

In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see
Just a fading reminder of who I used to be


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEVOVN24R08&feature=related

Powerless

And I stumble and fall on my knees...
Crying out, no power left to stand.
I wish I knew what to do.
I miss the world of me and you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZuskwmcQGg&feature=related

I'm so sick.

I will break into your thoughts
With what's written on my heart
I will break, break

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

If you want more of this
We can push out, sell out, die out
So you'll shut up
And stay sleeping
With my screaming in your itching ears

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

Hear it, I'm screaming it
You're heeding to it now

Hear it! I'm screaming it!
You tremble at this sound

You sink into my clothes
And this invasion
Makes me feel
Worthless, hopeless, sick

I'm so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss,
Selfishness
I'm so sick
I'm so sick

I'm so sick
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Empty bliss, selfishness
I'm so
I'm so sick
I'm so
I'm so sick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIADZKU9dw

Leaving.

I see the world crumble down around you.
And I want to catch your fall, but this time I won't be there at all.
You need to fight your fight on your own.

Everytime I reached for your hands, you ran away.
Everytime you needed me, it was me who found out you needed me.
It wasn't you who told me, you needed me.
I simply gave myself, because I cared about you.

And I know it is harsh to leave you alone.
But I need you to know how it feels to lose people.
I hope that one morning you'll wake up and realise you have been left alone.
It will be at that very moment, you will realise some people really cared about you.
Some people needed you.
But well, I warned you a zillion times.
And I know you are glad you've got us, but please look a little closer.
Do you still have us?
Because we are slowling leaving, walking out, letting go of you.
Just because we don't think there's much left to do.
If you want to show us you really care, then you should wake up and start thinking.
And start acting like you should.
Say what you do and do what you say.

Wolf.

I miss you so much.
You took my most precious things away.
I feel it every day.
I want to tell you how much I am sorry.
It hurts me so much to see how much I hurted you.
I really don't know what to do.
I am afraid, to make the wrong decisions again.
And I don't want to argue with you anymore.
I just want to make the right decisions,
All I want is happiness for both of us.
Until the day I know the answer to my questions,
Until that day I will think of you when the full moon appears.
I won't howl anymore.
But I do hope you haven't forgot about me.

Say what you do and do what you say

Somebody please show me,
You are not worth it.
You are not honest.
You are not who I think you are.
My image is wrong.
I want to lose you.
My thoughts, everything about you.
I want to forget it right here, right now.
Because you are not who I think you are.
Because you are different and you don't care.
If you really care then you would,
Say what you do and do what you say.
But it doesn't matter anyway,
Because you're not like that.

.

With a broken heart I walked out of the room, out of the house...
Complete confused.
Who are you?
I was wondering...
I know something bad just happened.
Because I felt sadness, guilt and shame.
I can't turn this thing around you said.
You could have asked me how I felt.
It was your duty as my boyfriend...
But you didn't...
You only cared about what you wanted..
You were the one that signed the rest of my love life and everything about love...
You weren't a good example of true love...
Still I believed that at that moment...
And I wonder how long this thing will be hanging around in my head.
It has been almost 5 years...
And because of everything I don't remember everything anymore...

Black.

You have damaged me more than everyone else ever did.
But still I want to forgive you.
And sometimes I feel like I never got over that one time, over you....
I don't understand.
I really don't.
I just know that sometimes I still think back to those times...
And I hope you changed into the person I hoped you was...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scDdiHIP4ag&feature=share

Owl City

I get lost for words,
When I lose myself in your tones,
Your world,
Your words,
Your face,
Brought to me by someone really special.

I really can't wait to see you performing on stage for real.
I would be so damn happy<3 :D
My heart loves your music<3

Insane.

What do you think?
No I am not ok...
And I wonder if I will ever be...
But seriously, you are driving me insane.
And it's got to end.

Fire and Ice.

You run away
You hide away
To the other side of the universe
Where you're safe from all that hunts you down
But the world has gone
Where you belong 
And it feels to late so you're moving on



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbHYl1_aqT4

Lost.

-BANG!-

There it was,
Back again.
I thought everything was over, but I couldn't have been more wrong.
Moreover, people are irreplaceable.
So you can't be replaced with someone else either.
And at that point I started missing you again.
I wonder when I will ever find my way back home again.
Because right now I am a little bit lost.
I am lost in a fire that warms me,
And yet sometimes burns me.
I wish that the rain would stop the fire,
And the moon and stars would light my way back home.

Worried.

Yes, I was worried sick about you.
Worried, that something happened to you.
Or that you would have done something to yourself...
Anyway, I am glad that we went there and that nothing happened to you.
But ehr, weirdo?
Please turn on your phone next time :o.

Ehr...

I don't know when I will see the end of this road.
I just know that I am at the 'start place' again.
I don't quite understand.
All I know is:
I less three you . . .

Paranoid.

Walking around like a zombie.
I am dizzy and the whole world is spinning in front of my eyes.
And I don't understand.
They talk in an unknown language.
Then all of the sudden,
I fall.
I collapse.
And I don't feel anything anymore.
The dizzy feeling is gone.
And so is the world around me.
I feel like I am dreaming.
And I am not sure if I'll ever wake up.

My heart. Captured in your bottle.

Can you see it when I walk around?
Can you see it when I look you straight into the eyes.
Do you notice when I talk to you?
Maybe it's just me,
But I don't think you have a clue.

And I wonder why I am still taken.
Why do you still have something that's mine,
Captured in your strong glass hands?
You have my most precious thing,
And you carry it around every day and night.

But I still think you don't have a clue.
And I don't have a clue,
When I am getting my own thing back.
So still, only time will tell...

Unknown.

And again it hurts to see this things happening.
Not knowing if you are breaking or not breaking,
Not knowing if you are included or excluded.
And worrying about you all the time.
Worrying about the same things over and over.
Not wanting to hurt anyone.
And especially not you.
And after all this time,
I still don't understand.
But I guess only time will tell,
What's going to happen.

Second home.

I can't stand the fact that my memories are being changed.
Just like that...
Your place was like a second home to me.
And now it's about to disappear.
It hurts me so much to see everything changing all of the sudden.
I hate this feeling that burns inside my heart.
That feeling I can't cope with. 
My whole being says NO.
You can't go.
You can't leave.
If you leave, my world will change.
That place will change.
Our world will change.
That place was ours together with the flying being(s) that lives/lived there....
And I was there...
Some weeks night and day, day and night...
It will take some time to get used to the new situation.
I don't want to think about it.
Because thinking about it makes me cry.
Thinking about it makes me feel guilty.
Because lately I wasn't there that often...
And my whole being says this is wrong,
This is not something that is supposed to happen,
I can't be true...
It feels unhuman,
Somehow.

Uncertain.

I am not sure anymore...
And even if you would say those words...
I would still be uncertain, I don't believe in anything of it right now.
Though I want to.
I wish your veins felt the things I felt.
A zillion times.
Everyone wants to have their own world.
Everyone wants to be loved.
Everyone wants to feel like they are part of something bigger.
I never really felt this need so much.
But now it's more than ever.
And I have to find the strength to talk and trust.
Because in one second it was all wiped away.
And I felt crushed.
Because I don't want to lose anyone.
Anyone that's important to me...

No denial.

Your face
Your eyes
Your scent
Your touch
Your voice
Your words

I can deny every single thing.
But everything tells me,
You still hold my heart,
Inside your weird hands.

Although I am slowly letting go,
I still love your presence and everything else...
About you.
And you are growing stronger by the day.
I disliked you for your weakness.
The point is, I love you for your strength.
And even though every single inside of me is weaker by the day,
I still wonder when the remains will disappear.

No harm.

And I miss you so much.
But I am not sure if you are real
If you are still there.
I still love you as a friend.
I hope one day, you come back.
And realise I never really meant to harm you.
I didn't do anything on purpose lately,
To make you feel bad,
And to make you sad.
I hope one day you realise what you are doing yourself.
Anyway, I might stop talking to you from now on.
Don't take it personally.

The past and the present.

So here we are.
And I don't understand.
So tell me,
Why don't you speak up?
And why do you blame afterwards?
And you blended in.
And now you are blaming me, for??
I have always been there and my ways are not going to change.
If I care about people, then I care about them.
If that means that I will treat them in my own ways,
Then, well, that's me then...
I really don't understand what's wrong with that...
No-one can change the past.
Some people had their own world.
And that world still exists somehow.
If that effects today,
Then that's your own fault.
And not mine...

The wall.

Sometimes,
I really wonder if you are out there...
Do you care?
Do you understand?
What true lonelines means?
To me, sometimes it doesn't matter whether I am alone or with someone else.
I would still feel lonely.
And I don't think you understand how it feels.


But if you want to build that wall,
If you want to keep it around you.
If you want to speak up and tell others that you have that wall.
Well, then the wall says it all.
Then you don't care about me or others...