Not perfect.

Here are my hands,
They are empty.
Here is my body,
It's not perfect.
Here is my heart,
It's a little damaged
And I think it looks awful.
Here is my mind,
No-one really understand what's on my mind.
Not even you.
I don't like it.
But I accept it.
Because I will find someone who will understand it someday.
So that doesn't matter to me.
What does matter,
Is that you understand that I don't hate you.
That I am always slightly afraid.
For so many things.
No-one would notice,
But I know I am.
I am crazy.
Out of my mind.
Emotional.
Sensitive.
And negative as hell.

But I want you to know,
That I don't recognize you, because of the things you do.
I will recognize you, because of the way you may make me feel.
Doesn't matter if it's good or bad.
Because I know them both.
But I can't feel them both at the same time.
That's simply impossible.
That's why I can't see anything positive, when all I feel is negatieve.

Fiction or truth ?

I am writing your words.
I am writing your letters and sentences.
On a piece of paper.

And I don't know what I am doing here.
I don't know where I am.
It's like I am lost in my truth and fiction.

My soul doesn't know anymore.
I don't know the difference between the truth.
And my own fiction.

And I don't know why I am still bound by my past.
I don't know what it is that I have to do.
To change who I am.

And I don't know why every whisper tells me,
That I don't belong here.

Then where do I belong?

Vanished.

And I drowned in your arms that night. Everything felt perfect and warm.
And our movements vanished in the air and were taken by wind.
Like nothing ever happened.
The day after I was wondering, was it all a dream? I guess it was.

Forgive, proces and let go.

I know that's my world.
And I know at first, I would rather so you dead.
Than alive.
I wanted something,
Someone,
Take you deep into the ground,
And make you bleed,
So much,
You would beg for mercy.

But I just can't think that way anymore.
I want to forgive you.
Even though that means,
I have to forgive myself first.
Because I have never forgiven myself for that night.
For that time.

I know you changed...
I just hope you really see,
The pain,
And memories that still live in me.

It has been 4 and a half year now....
And all I want to do,
Is proces everything,
And move on.

You decide

Fiction and reality collide.
Faceless and so busted up inside.
You've been searching you've been crying out.
Will you be destroyed by all your doubt?


You decide
(Who will you run to)
Wrong or right
(There is no reason)
For you to hide
Only love can change your life.
You decide

God is calling out to you again.
Let Him pull you, let Him take you in.
From the fear that swallows up for your life.
Will you stay the same or will you fight?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1P1t7sp7m3g&feature=fvwrel