Love divided

You say there's an open door
But every time I come there, it's locked.
And when I try to open it, I get hurt.

Every time I think, this time, will you be there waiting for me with open arms? Will you tell me you love me? Will you listen when I tell you my troubled thoughts and emotions I can't make sense of?
Or will you mock me again, not taking me serious? Will you ask twice and make an effort to make sure I'm okay...

A smile, some advice, misunderstood
To you this is the same as those open arms

Last time I decided to throw away the key

Next time I will carry my sword and shield; my armor.

For I know my Father is waiting for me at a different door every single second of the day. He welcomes me with open arms. He tells me how much he loves me every single day. But you see, giving Him the key of my door is the hardest thing I have ever done. Trust doesn't come easily to me. I remember kicking the other door ever since I discovered it hurts to open it. Some day I will get there again. But this time I won't be alone.