Happy.

I would steal that sadness away.
Put it in a bottle.
And throw it into the sea.
So you would always be happy :).

Crazy.

I feel like I'm going insane.
If I don't find out soon.
Give me my why....

Under my skin

I got you, under my skin.

The pretenders

I have known it, from the moment I knew they were like that.
Primary school, secondary school, high school, university.
They were always there.
Always nice.
Always smiling.
But already from the beginning I noticed they are not always nice.
It's like they are pretending to be nice.
I found out that they don't gave a damn about me.
But I never had the power to turn my back to them.
Untill that one time.
That one time I got so angry.
That one time I realised it.
And I could finally turn my back to them.
For once in my whole life I could do it.
Because they were hurting others.
It wasn't fair.
Not fair at all.
Their behaviour wasn't proper at all.
And denying it, that's what they did.
But I already knew everything by then.
And that one time I realised.
My whole life.
They were all pretenders.
Don't you know they all pretend.
Back then I could turn around and walk away.
Right now, it's not enough.
Right now, it's still not enough to walk away.
But when it happens.
When you will do the same.
I will turn around and walk away again.
With the same look.
The same eyes.
The same thoughts.
You don't care.
You just pretend you do.

Is it that weird?

Is it that weird?
That I want to make you cry and make you smile.
Is it that weird?
That I want to light up a flame of happiness in your heart.
Is it that weird?
That I want to give you warmth when you are cold.
Is it that weird?
That I want to show you how happy you could be.
Is it that weird?
That I care about you.
Is it, really?

Smile.

You make me smile<3

Sickness.

I couldn't forget.
I couldn't forgive myself.
What happened back then.
I am ready to forgive you.
But I can't even forgive myself.
After all those years.
Back then, if I could have killed you, I might be tempted to really kill you.
Cause this pain I still feel.
It's ripping me apart.
I would want to punish everyone that has done this to a girl.
I am sick of this pain.
It makes me want to throw up.
I really wish I could turn back time and turn around everything that happened back then.
I hope you realise how much you hurted me.
And I hope you won't do it again.
Because if you do, I'll be the one personally hitting you in your face.
And I won't be the only one who would be doing that on that moment.
I can't hate you anymore for what you did.
But I still feel ripped apart sometimes.
Because of you, there is no gray in some situations.
There's only black.
Or white.

Sorry.

It's not that I don't care about you.
I noticed I got too close.
And everything went way too quick.
I realised I have to take care about myself more instead of taking a lot care about one person.
That's how it felt.
I was only focused on one person.
I don't want to do that anymore.
I am really sorry if I hurted you.

Special.

I keep on asking myself the same question over and over.
Why?
I thought I figured this out.
But I guess I am still at the same spot where I started.
I can only guess what's going on inside of my mind.
I have been wondering the same thing for more than a year now.
And nothing has changed.
Though so much has happened since then.
This feeling is like a puzzle to me.
And I don't know where I left the missing pieces.
Also I don't know how to fit them together.
Maybe time will tell.

Written in the stars

Oh written in the stars,
A million miles away,
A message to the main.

Seasons come and go.
But I will never change.
And I’m on my way.

Unforgettable.

I never really forgot about you.
And I probably never will.

Regret.

Because I felt that this was coming.
But I didn't know how to stop it, how to believe it.
Now all that's left is regret.
It was too quick and couldn't mean anything more than what it is right now.

Girl.

Because she is a girl.

Just questioning

Sometimes I wonder what am I doing?
Waiting around for other people..
Is it weird?
I mean you are just focusing on one person and nothing else seems to matter anymore.
While actually, you also have other people around you
And you have other things to do than just waiting for that other person.
Anyway I still don't really understand the reason, why can you just focus on one person?

Stuck.

My knees feel weak.
And I can't speak.
Please don't stop holding my hand.
Because I almost can't stand
On my legs anymore.

All those words I just don't speak.
I wish I could just speak up.
But my voice is stuck
Between my head and my heart.
I feel like
There is nothing to choose.
Because I can't deny
What's growing inside of me.
And I wish I could just speak up.
But I am stuck.
All I know is that
Right now
Your face makes my fall down on my knees...

Weird.

At this rate,
I am going to burst.
Or explode.



Or something like that.




It's just weird, that's the thought that pops into my head, everytime  I think about it...

Dirty Little Secret

Let me know that I've done wrong,
When I've known this all along,
I go around a time or two,
Just to waste my time with you.

Like the sun

Like the sun will shine.
Like the rain will fall.
I'll be there to pick you up.
Anytime you call.
Tomorrow's on it's way.
Night turns into dawn.
As the morning breaks.
You'll see,
The shadows will be gone.
So hold on!

Bird lover/Friend.

There's nothing I have to do.
Just stick with you.
And make you happy.
And I will, I will stick with you, no matter what happens.
I want to make up for every bad thing you went through in life.

Pain.

I know the end is near.
I know I will end this soon.
Because I can't hold on anymore.
And things continue to keep on hurting if I don't end this.

If this means I'm hurting you.
Then I'm sorry.
I don't know what else to do anymore.

Between black and white

Do you know?

Exhausted.

A love that's so demanding.

I get weak.

Do you remember,
The tears I cried.
When we argued.
From time to time.
I couldn't understand you.
And after every single argument.
I felt exhausted.
I felt like I had to sleep.

I am so glad I won't be tired of our arguments anymore.
I feel so much lighter now.

But I still remember....

=)

'I have to take care of you two'

You were in no condition to take care of us.
But that didn't matter.

I appreciated the fact that you stayed awake, because I asked you to.
Because I felt alone.
Because I was a little afraid that something bad would happen and I would have to take care of the both of you two.
So I am glad you waited
Untill we all went to bed.
After that, I couldn't sleep.
Call me stupid.
But that sentence made a deep impression on me...
Because it made me feel less worried and less alone.

Alone.

Do you know those thoughts?
I can't let go of them.
How the whole world would dislike you.
And leave you.
That in the end you are alone.

Moreover,
You want to find that special person.
And you don't want to share it with anyone.
You want someone for yourself.
Cause sharing makes you feel like you don't belong
With them
It's like you being cut off from them.
You don't want to feel like someone is being nicer and better to them.
It makes you feel less worthy.
If you feel that way.
You realize


Quote the anime/manga: 'Nana':
In the end we are all alone...

Black and white

Say it your way.

Think your way.

Do it your way.

Go your own way.

But I'll be going my way too.

There is a difference between us.

We are like black and white.

Like day and night.

My world of thoughts is different.

Always thinking what is right and what is wrong.

In my head lives a black and white world.

In your head there are so many colors.

But if you mix your colors, everything turns white again.

And if you remove the colors, everything turns black again. 

I love you

This time I was waiting for the bus to come.
And I was listening to this beautiful song called 'Welcome home'.
Then that song reminded me of how much I love nature.
Then there was this bird, only a few centimeters away from my bench.
It was so close to me and not scared of me at all.
It was like nature answered: 'I love you too'.

Innocence.

I never really climbed over that wall.
Because I know I have this weakness.
For everything that is just like you.