Obviously

Obviously there is something you are not saying, not telling.
Or, you are not sure.
Or, you just don't want anyone to know...
Either way.
We all think it's still there.
That something is up.
But just like last time.
I know.
It can take forever.
Before I discover what's behind this all.

You are always running away.

I would hide there if it meant safety.
But the only meaning is uncertainty
And I know you don't know me.
Enough to know that I am not only a body.
But I am human.
And I want you to see.
I want you to see what I see.
That some things are not how they are supposed to be.
But it's like you are not really listening.
You just move.
Stubborn.
Just like me.
But every single thing about this makes me cry.
It makes me want to hide, from every single thing in this world.
It makes me want to disappear.
Because I am freaking out.
And it feels that there's nothing left here.
It's like I am running, but losing everyone around me, because I ran too far.

I wish your heart bleeded.
Just because this wasn't right.
Because I am crying out.
But it's like you're just standing there and you are running away.
All the time...
I want you to stay for this one moment and do what you have to do.
And all you do is run.
And I still wonder why.

Trust.

I don't believe you anymore.
You just destroyed your own glasses.
I freaked out, because I was seeing everything so clear all of the sudden.
Then I started to wonder if any of these words been said by you were true.
And I don't know anymore.
I just know I can't take it any longer like this.
I need to hear the truth from your own mouth.
And after that, I am gone.
And I will try,
To forget,
That beautiful single memory in my head.
Yes, it was perfect.
Maybe far too perfect.
Reminds you of,
When things are getting too much,
Something must be wrong.
And I am not like this.
So this ain't the place were I belong.
You have to do a lot to fix this or make me trust you again.

I dont want to ...

I don't want to be jealous.
I don't want to cry anymore.
I don't want to be weak anymore.
I don't feel unneccessary bad things.
I don't want to be me anymore.

At this very moment, I hate myself.
And I don't want to be here anymore.
I just want to be gone for a while.

And I know it was 3:30 am.
But I couldn't care less.
If you would have stayed the whole night,
I would have hold you the whole night.
<3