Learning to forgive...

I remember years ago, when I hated you...
When I would have rather see you die then live...


But then again I feel like,
I should have stopped you,
Before you would have destroyed me and carved lifelong scars in my heart.
I should have saved myself, grabbed my things and should have gone home.
But I didn't
I couldn't.

I wish you could carry half of pain, half of my shame.
So you would know, so you would realize.
And you'd think twice,
To do this to another heart.


I could have called someone and you could have been prosecuted.
But I didn't.
Because I found out too late, what you had actually done to me.
And even then, I would still nothing really happened and that it was all my fault.
The point is, something did happen and I kept feeling ashamed and couldn't figure out why.
Later I realised why.

And now I wonder if those emotions will slowly disappear and be gone,
One day...

Things got better...
And I am still trying to forgive you..
I stopped hating you...
I forgot things, details...
And the pain has gotten less and less in the past years...
But it's not fully gone yet.
I wonder if it will be one day.