Open your eyes

Open your eyes.
You are almost there and yet you are almost gone.
I just hope you will see, anytime soon.
It will help you anyway.
I just don't want to see you being left alone without anyone.
I don't want you to be hurted in the end.
Just so you know, I don't hate anyone.
I just care too much about you, to let this go.

Sigh.

And I just hate the fact, that I don't dare to be alone.
And I just hate the fact that I can't get you out of my head and that you make me feel so bad.
I wish every bad thing on my mind disappeared.
And for once in my life I would feel really good, for a few weeks.

-

And everytime, I break a little harder.
And everytime I don't know what to say.
It's been years since I first felt this.
But somehow in all those years, I never had the guts to tell you.
To tell you, though I am your flesh and blood, I don't trust you.
I don't trust anyone for the fully 100%.
It's like that.
I am not sure if that's the reason.
But it might be that it has something to do with all this.

Stupid.

I hate you.
You are stupid,
Clumsy,
Weird,
Annoying,
Lazy,
You are always standing out.

But what I hate the most about you,
Is that I don't hate you at all.
I hate the fact that I care a lot about you,
And my feelings aren't totally letting you go.
And what I hate most about that, is that I feel like I can't do anything to change that.

Different.

And I don't understand why you lead and follow.
And I don't understand what's the point in doing things like that at all.
But I guess I am stronger, somehow.
I guess I am different from you.