Your game: "I can't lose" "Or have I already lost?"

It just doesn't cut it.
Where is the end?
There is darkness and sin everywhere.
How can you live like that?
Like the world is yours, like you own it.
God owns this world.
He made you!
And He made you beautiful.
But He did not make you a god.
You are not a god.
Are you your own idol?
Is that right?
Does it make you happy?
Bathing in arrogance.
Not thinking.
Nothing is important.
Life is a game.
And so whatever I can't lose.
Because I am important.
I am invincible.
You don't like me?
Go screw yourself?
I did something wrong?
Nooooo, everything was your own fault.
I am not responsible.


Everything is okay as long as it feels good.
But I do have double standards...
One is right, one is wrong.
They both destroy my body and mind in some way.
But still one is wrong, one is right.
They are not the same.
This world is made of levels of "wrong" and "right".
While You tell me You don't treat a liar  any different than a murderer.
A sin is a sin.
I am a sinner.
Because I am not perfect.
But the difference between you and me.
I know I sin.
Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
I should say this every day.


No I am responsible.
Forgive me Father.
I have let someone in my life that kept me away from.
That let me drift farther an farther away from You.
Someone without morals or You.
I couldn't find you there.
I chose to ignore You and I was wrong.
From now on I will choose to listen.
Release my anger, my sadness.
And make me forgive.
Make me do Your will.

Memories

You left a hole in my heart. And I still have not figured out how to fill it up. I still do not understand how, what or why. All I know is I can not go back.