Eventually.

Somehow I know that everything that happened, was supposed to happen.
And everything that has not happened yet, will happen eventually.

Speechless.

Because I can't forget you.

I'll dissolve when the rain pours in.
When the nightmares take me.
I will scream with the howling wind.
Cause it's a bitter world.
I'd rather dream.

Something sweet 2.

I don't care how you look on the outside.
If your heart is pure.
If your heart is pretty.
Then I would dare to risk it all, to steal it.

Something sweet 1.

Something that popped into my mind.... 

I would write your name on a paper.

And I would send it to a random stranger.

I would write my adress on the back of the envelope.

Then the stranger would ask me ‘Who is this person?'.

Then I would send a reply which says: ‘Simply amazing’. 

You make me wanna die.

Your eyes, your eyes, I can see in your eyes, your eyes.
You make me wanna die.
I'll never be good enough.
You make me wanna die.
And everything you love, will burn up in the light.
Every time I look inside your eyes.
Make me wanna die.

To die for

I love the lyrics of this song, they are so cute<3.

We rule the night

Until the end of time we are slaves to the dark.
He pulled me down, pulled me down to this world.
We emerge from the shadows and we rule the night.
We rule the night, rule the night together.

Can't move

I can't move any further.
You are in the way.
And I know nothing will ever change.
I know I can't do anything.
Unless you walk away.

Stunned.

You left me stunned, with your words.
Just before you walked away.

The only reason

You remind of how beautiful this outside world is.
It might be the only reason I am still moving here.

Moodswings.

There they are.
Back again.
Moodswings.
Why do I always feel so sad at those moments.
I don't understand.

Beijing.

You are the only one that fully understands.

I left my heart somewhere there.
At that place.
And everything around it.
The memory of that place has become a dream for me.

Room of memories

I have been there so many times.
I walked in and I walked out.
And everytime you were there.
I asked you the same question everytime: why?
And then you would look at me and answer: 'why are you asking?'
> 'Because I don't understand'
< 'Why are you doubting?'
> 'Because this time it is different.'
< 'Yes, that may be so, but I am different.'
> 'I know that very well, but I have never experienced anything like this before.'
< 'Then this will be your first time.'
> 'But I still want to know, it feels so weird.'
< 'What's weird about this then?'
> 'I walked into this room, but I can't help myself from coming back here.'
> 'What's up with that?'
< 'You will have to find that out on your own.'
< 'It might just be, that I don't understand that part of you, what you are talking about.'

How come?

How come you always know the right things to say?
How come you know exactly what I like?
How come you can be enough just by opening/closing that window.
How come you know what to say? Or not to say?

What is this ?

You pull me back in.
And I know I can't stop typing, whenever I start.
But I know it's true.
And somehow I know, I will never ever get somewhere if this doesn't disappear.
Those things that keep on hanging around somewhere in my mind.
But I don't know what to say anymore.
It's been like this.
And it's like there's no ending.
I don't understand.
I wish I understood.
What is this?
Who are you?

Sticking with you

Come on, it's me you're talking to.
There's something going on inside of you.
Don't have to say it, but I wish you would,
cause it would be much easier.



And if I have to jump,
Then I'll jump,
And I won't look down.
You can cry, you can fight, we can scream and shout.
I'll push and pull
Untill your walls come down.
And you understand I'm gonna be around.
I'm sticking with you.
I'm sticking with you.

Sunburn.

But when her smile came back and I didn't feel half as horrible.
She gave me a heart attack,
Just because she looked so adorable.

Too much sweetness

That's too much sweetness for me.
This is like the best chocolate.
Like the sweetest chocolate.
You, together with this feeling.

Close.

I was crawling towards you.
I came closer and you saw me.
You didn't say anything and I crawled away again.
I am not sure if you understood why I was there,
Why I was close.
I just hope that, if you understood, you won't say anything.
All I know is that I won't come that close again.

I'll eat you up

You feed my appetite in ways I can't explain.

Stigma?.

Is it only the beauty of the world outside?
Or are you really stigmatized somewhere in my soul, stuck somewhere deep within me?
In Dutch we would say: 'this is burned on my retina'.


I only know that this feels so special.
And that I can't let go of you.
Somehow.

Pain. & Doubt.

I never knew that I was the only one.
Because I never heard anyone else say how much it hurts.
How much words can cut through your heart.
But I can say they do.
Pain in your heart is one of the most horrible things.

Just like then, when I told you I felt this pain in my heart.
Like there was really a problem with my heart.

Although I am not sure if I told you.
Maybe I should.

Because I always thought that I am me and everything about me, makes me, me.
Also I heard people say you should accept yourself, no matter what.
The best relationship is the one with yourself.

But there is one thing I can't understand.
Why are you doubting me?
Why are you doubting the things that live inside of me?
Am I that different from you?
So different that you can't imagine/accept that people can have different things inside of them?
Doubting anything about me,
Saying anything about me couldn't be real,
That means you are not accepting me for who I am.
And if that's really what it is,
Then I am afraid I can't be around you anymore.
Because I can't stand people who don't accept me for who I am.

Depressed morning

Crying my heart out.
My heart feels so empty.
And what's up with this loneliness that has been there in my heart for already such a long time.
There are those days I wake up depressed every morning.
Those mornings I realise, I would rather sleep and dream then wake up and live.
It feels so cold.
And I feel ripped apart.
I don't understand.
I got so much loving and caring people around me.
I hope for an answer one day.